We were preparing an amazing meal for a dinner party.
I was preparing two homemade French apple pies. Pulling them out of the oven, some of the hot apple pie residue dripped onto one of my fingers.
I did everything I have been trained to do in such an emergency.
But it still hurts.
The funny thing is, I feel it most when heat hits the area: in the shower, washing dishes, or pulling toast out of the toaster. It is like my hand protests that it does not want to be hurt again by sending pain signals to my brain.
It will take awhile for the damaged skin around my finger to look "normal" again.
When we have been hurt by someone, it is often most painful when we face the same situation (or heat) again. Because it feels embarrassing to be "burned" yet again.
But I want to not love people from a place of damage, but instead, a place of wholeness. Despite some of the "burns" I have received over the years, I want to love wholeheartedly, serve without reservation, and trust without the fear of being hurt.
The Psalmist provide some perspective on this subject in Psalm 130:3-5
"If You, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand?
But with You there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve You.
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in His Word I put my hope."
Only with God, can I truly be forgiven and in turn, forgive.
Only when I wait in eager anticipation for God, read His Word, and remember the things for which He has forgiven me, can I release the "burned" feelings and truly live.
By, the way, the pies were delicious. Totally worth it :)
Amberly
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