Promises, Promises

Well, it happened again.

My husband went for a job interview only to discover that the position was no longer available.

Six months without substantial employment has proved tiresome.  Yes, he has gone on a ton of interviews (most for which he is HIGHLY over-educated and over-qualified), and yet, nada.  Zilch.  Goose egg. Squat.

I know God has a plan (Proverbs 19:21) to prosper us (Jeremiah 29:11-13) for us to do good works (Ephesians 2:10).  I know all the verses, but I am having a hard time waiting for God in this season.  In other words, I have a serious WAIT problem.

In my quiet time the other day, I was reminded of the story of Abraham.  He had a WAIT problem, too.  He waited for a child.  He waited for protection.  He waited for God to provide.  But he did not do it very well.  He circumvented God's plan for a child by sleeping with his wife's maidservant.  He provided his own "plan B" by lying and saying that Sarai was only his sister.  

In Genesis 22:17, God promises Abraham something amazing.  God shows Abraham the stars.  He gives him a vision for his future: "I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies..."

The kicker is: it took 23 years for Abraham's future generation to be born.  In God's perfect timing, Isaac was born to old parents.  23 years.  That is the same number of years Scott and I have been married.  WOWZERS!

But it made them stronger in the process.  When God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac over a decade later, Abraham got up "early in the morning" to obey God (Genesis 22:3).

I want to be stronger.   I want to have faith that merits putting me on a list of the faithful (Hebrews 11).  I want to be so eager to do God's work that I get up "early in the morning" to do it.  Even if it means more job interviews for my husband.

Would you please pray for my husband as he searches for the right job?    Thank you!

How can I pray for you?!?!  Do you have a WAIT problem as well?

Maybe we should look up at the starts periodically and remind ourselves of the perfect timing of God.

Blessings on your week!
Amberly

Spit Take

I love to learn new verbiage.  Even if it means that I have been saying something wrong for all of my born days...

I came across this little beauty over Christmas break and it has been stuck in my craw ever since.

The term "Spitting image" is the usual modern form of the idiom meaning exact likeness, duplicate, or counterpart. The original phrase was spit and image, inspired by the Biblical God‘s use of spit and mud to create Adam in his image. But spitting image has been far more common than spit and image for over a century.

A few writers still use spit and image, but trying to keep the original idiom alive is probably a lost cause. Though it is older and makes more logical sense, it can also be distracting to readers who have been hearing spitting image their whole lives. Of course, spitting image can be just as distracting to some careful readers. (from http://grammarist.com/usage/spitting-image/)

Wow.  Although I have thought through being made in the image of God, I never pondered that we could actually be derived from the very SPIT of God. 

"Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being." (Genesis 2:7)

This is such a cool image that our (meaning humankind's) lungs were formed and filled with the very breath of God.  Although spit is not mentioned, the dust God used may have included his spit as well (other translations imply the use of spit).

So, what does all this word-nerdiness have to do with anything?  Well, it has forced me to ask myself a couple of questions:

Do I act like the "spit and image" of my Heavenly Father?

Do I speak love and grace to others like my lungs were filled with His breath?

My intentions this year include researching who I am in Christ.  This has been a good thought on which I can chew this first week.

Happy New Year!

Amberly

Reject

I love to sing.  Singing connects me to God, allows me to pretend that I will be a backup singer for Tina Turner someday, and is a never-ending source of joy.

In fifth grade, my teacher, Mrs. Pfau, told me: "do yourself a favor and never sing aloud."

It stung.  It silenced me.  For years, I never sang where others could hear me (although NO ONE could stop my in-car solos!)  Whenever I was tempted to sing in front of others, the voices of self-doubt sang loudly in my heart.  But with the coaxing of my roommate in college, I finally started singing again.

I have been singing ever since.  In no way am I implying that I am a good singer, but I sure enjoy it.  I have sung on a TON of worship teams, sung at weddings and funerals, done plenty of solos, and relish the times that my husband and I sing together.

Last week, my husband, our daughter, and I auditioned for the worship team at the church we have been attending.  It is SO vulnerable to audition for strangers, especially because I can still hear the words of Mrs. Pfau in my ears...

"Do yourself a favor and never sing aloud."

We finally heard from the worship pastor yesterday.  My husband and daughter were chosen, but I was not.  Ouch.  I tried to pretend that it was not a blow to my pride.  I am truly happy for them, but truly wounded for me.  I have actually shed tears over it.  HOW EMBARRASSING!

"Do yourself a favor and never sing aloud."

The question is: am I going to let the rejection silence me?  Will I be able to sing aloud again and not think of my disappointment and shame?

Time will tell...

Amberly

It. Is. Finished.

Well, I did it.  I completed my first (and only) triathlon.

I h trained.  I followed all the advice of friends, colleagues, and bloggers.  I had all the right equipment. I choked.

The swim was only 1/2 mile long and on beautiful Lake Mead.  My best friend, Debbie, swore to stay with me through the triathlon (this was her 5th) and I am glad she did.

All the beginners were in the last heat.  It was hard enough being in a wetsuit in public, but the swimming cap made me look like a goddess indeed.  I ventured into the water and had not gone 100 feet  - when I panicked.  All the symptoms of a panic attack - shortness of breath, heart palpitations, nausea, impaired judgment, country music in my head - showed up like old friends.  I kept looking at the shore; only the sound of my best friend's voice stopped it from being the shortest attempt at a tri in U.S. (heck, international) history.

After a few failed attempts at any of the strokes I had practiced, I started backstroking.  Debbie and I came up with a system wherein she would pat my arm or leg depending on in which direction I needed to swim.  She encouraged.  She cheered.  She doggy-paddled for 1/2 while I tried to avoid throwing up.

I had to change my clothes into gear for biking once the swimming portion was over.  After a failed attempt at not flashing those changing around me and dropping my towel (oops.  Sorry, sir.  Some things cannot be unseen.), I got on the bike.  It was a grueling steady climb of 14 miles.  I think about 12 of that had a 6% incline, which does not seem like much, but it got hard.

My body started hurting in parts that shall remain unnamed.  Oh. My. Goodness.

And Debbie?  She just kept encouraging.  She got quiet when I would throw a fit.  She would gently encourage me with tips and point out landmarks along the way.  She loved me even when I said disparaging things.  We talked candidly about life.  She never left my side.

After a three mile jog (mostly walking), we crossed the finish line together and I have never been so thankful to be her friend.

She literally embodied the role of the Holy Spirit in the life of a believer.  She directed, guided, nudged, encouraged, pushed, loved, but mostly, she just never left my side.  She was on my team the whole time.

I need to remember that the next time I have a hard time "feeling" God.  He is on Team Amberly and will never leave my side.  Even when I can't stop looking at the shore in times of storm.  Even when I say disparaging things about myself.  Even when I fail.  He loves me and He loves you.

I am thankful for His presence...

Amberly

If at first you don't succeed, TRI, TRI again

Well, I am attempting by first Triathlon (TRI) in the morning.  I have been training.  I have been focused.  I have also been scared.

I am afraid of failing.

I am afraid of looking foolish.

I am afraid of disappointing people who have helped me.

I am afraid of being in a wetsuit in public.

Ugh.

As the great philosopher, John Wayne, once said, "Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway."

As the Greatest One ever once said, "...Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, but the Lord Your God will be with you wherever you go (even in wetsuits)." (Joshua 1:9)

So, I will take both of those tidbits of wisdom and do my best tomorrow.  I will let you know how it goes...

Are you facing something difficult today?  Co-workers? Kids? Spouse? Boss? Traffic? Overload?  Stress? Wetsuits?  Know that you are not alone.   I empathize, but even better, God supplies.

Saddle up.  And then look up.

Amberly

Burn, Baby, Burn

I burned my hand yesterday.

We were preparing an amazing meal for a dinner party.

I was preparing two homemade French apple pies.  Pulling them out of the oven, some of the hot apple pie residue dripped onto one of my fingers.

I did everything I have been trained to do in such an emergency.

But it still hurts.

The funny thing is, I feel it most when heat hits the area: in the shower, washing dishes, or pulling toast out of the toaster.  It is like my hand protests that it does not want to be hurt again by sending pain signals to my brain.

It will take awhile for the damaged skin around my finger to look "normal" again.

When we have been hurt by someone, it is often most painful when we face the same situation (or heat) again.  Because it feels embarrassing to be "burned" yet again.

But I want to not love people from a place of damage, but instead, a place of wholeness.  Despite some of the "burns" I have received over the years, I want to love wholeheartedly, serve without reservation, and trust without the fear of being hurt.

The Psalmist provide some perspective on this subject in Psalm 130:3-5

"If You, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand?
But with You there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve You.
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in His Word I put my hope."

Only with God, can I truly be forgiven and in turn, forgive.
Only when I wait in eager anticipation for God, read His Word, and remember the things for which He has forgiven me, can I release the "burned" feelings and truly live.

By, the way, the pies were delicious.  Totally worth it :)

Amberly

the Popular Table

I was mildly popular in high school.

Drama kid, did track, cheerleader, mascot, student council, president of the Spanish National Honor Society, soccer player, and worked almost full-time.

But I was never at the popular table.  Every school has one and every school has kids who sit at them - and kids who wish they could.

But high school was a LONG time ago, and I should be "past" such things.  I should be spiritually mature enough not to care.  But I still do.

Our camp hired a new staff member.  He is young, hip, creative, funny (moreso than I), and to top it off, he is genuinely likeable.  Seriously awesome.

At first, I thought I was at the popular table at work.  But not anymore.  I am not asked to be part of new committees, focus groups (maybe because I can't focus), nor any cutting-edge projects.  We are not invited to dinner or out for events.

But I will tell you which table I DO sit at.  It is the wisdom table.  After almost 25 years of ministry experience, I have a few insights about what to do and what not to do.

I also sit at the prayer table.  I am so honored to pray for the staff every day.  I love these people (though most are young enough to be my kids).  I truly love them.  It is an honor to talk to God about each of them.

I don't need to sit at the popular table.  I need to trust that God has a purpose for me at whichever table He chooses to place me.

Amberly